Harmoney was a stay who had been in a shelter and wasn’t sure of people or life. 

Gia was someone completely different.
We wanted to give Gia the best life she deserves, we had a plan to do that. What we didn’t know at the time, but know now. You can still give your new pup a new life and the best life, without giving them everything at once.

Freedom = chaos.

Which is what we learnt, the second night we had her we left her for a couple hours, she had the bedroom and outside access as we had planned for her to live her new best life. Which was too much, for starters she didn’t know us. Sure she was starting to understand we were her parents. But she didn’t truly know us in the way dogs respect their owners. That is built over time. And because of this, she destroyed quiet a few things. We put it down to nerves of being left alone for the first time, so when it was due for me to go back to work and she was alone for a couple hours and she destroyed more stuff, but more important stuff. We knew she couldn’t be trusted in the bedroom.
but this wasn’t a forever thing. It was a she wasn’t sure of us so of course she was going to destroy our stuff. Its like a test, were we going to abandon her. Not a chance.

Dog training helped her gain a bond with us and set clear boundaries outside of the house, in areas she thought she had control she had to learn that she wasn’t a stay anymore and she had to listen. She had to walk with us, not run away.
It was hard for us to get her into dog training though as most places we looked only took puppies, not older dogs too. We finally found one recommended by a vet who took any age, and we are so thankful because after her 6 weeks she is a completely different dog. She knows we respect her so she respects us. She is better at walking on and off lead. Her confidence with people and dogs has grown. She is more independent and all round happier.
Dog training didn’t just teach us how to train her, it taught us to see what helps calm her down, what she likes. And use that, for example Gia would prefer to lie down than sit. It helps calm her down. So that’s what we do. If shes playing up, being naughty, we put her in a down and we wait. And when we go again shes calmer and thinking the steps through.

I regret giving her too much at the beginning, I wish I had known. But I never blamed her. It shocks me now that we can leave our house without closing all the doors to all the rooms and we can still come home and nothing will be destroyed anymore. Although we still do our walks and checks and see, we end up stood there staring at this dog and going ‘how are you the same do that was destroying everything in sight only 3 months ago?!?’

And its simply because we learnt, we learnt the approach we were doing was wrong. And sure she still has slip ups, shes actually very naughty and she knows it. But she respects us too much now to go and do it just because. But also she knows if she did, we would be taking the privilege away from her again until she earns it back.

 

Guilt is big within rescuing dogs, you worry you’re being too harsh on them. That they might resent you because they’ve already been through a lot and you just want to make them safe and happy. But you can do that with boundaries too. Its okay to tell your dog off, as long as you give them all the love when they do the right thing.

 Guest lists are something you have to work out first, mainly because venues have a capacity depending if you’re doing cocktail style or sit down meal. So you need to know if the venue your even looking at is going to accommodate the people you want to celebrate with. 

We got asked why we were doing a guest list so early when our plan to be wed wasn’t for another two years.
Now we know numbers will change, people will probably change but we did it off if we were sending out our invites tomorrow. This gave us an idea of what our round up number would be and can base venues and budging off that max number.

For us its 90. Mainly because the first venue we looked at caters only to 90pax. But also to keep costs down.
But deciding who those 90 people would be was hard. We wrote a list of the definite yes, but the most important questions were, have we spoke to them in the past year? No. not invited.
Are they a good vibe? No. Not invited.

When there’s drama or issues around people who like your future husband but are not very nice to you were hard. We had to discuss how to address these as I knew I wasn’t wanting anyone who would just come to our wedding to talk badly about myself, but hug and congratulate me to be there. Which was why our main motto is, do they bring good vibes.

Being on a facebook wedding discussion has been so helpful as well. Honestly, facebook groups slap hard! I thought they were just for older people etc but the wedding ones are a must if you are engaged. The community, the questions, the recommendations not only help you feel less alone in your issues but open you up to ideas you never thought of.

A lot of people have problems when it comes to invites and how to not invite people. And we are choosing to invite some people In a household and not others so learning how to word that through others that have done the same is super helpful.
But the biggest piece of advise that is shared constantly is that it is your wedding! So although there might be opinions from others that you have to invite this person because of this reason. If it doesn’t sit well with you, say no.
Its okay. This is yours and your future husbands or wives day. And my most important piece of advise is unless the person telling you this other person should be there is paying for the extra guest that wont bring you good vibes, then it’s a no.

Don’t be scared to say no. Yes there might be backlash and drama, but just think on the day when you are stood saying your vows surrounded by people you love, it all wont matter.

 Back in the day I would put up book reviews on youtube, I loved doing it and I kind of miss it. But times have changed since then and I started noticing there was this think called ‘bookstagrammers’ and boy do they scare me! 

As much as I would love to be involved in the world, and I do try. I do the tags, I do the hashtags I follow and get inspo for reads and posts because there’s nothing more I would love is to be on a publishers reading copy list!

But the reality is, I work full time, I have a relationship and a dog. And although I adore reading, I have other hobbies too so I cant spend my whole day curled up on the couch reading. And Ill admit, I’m not that fast of a reader. Although I try my best.

But there’s nothing I feel more discouraged by than when I hop onto Instagram, click through stories and see bookstagrammers complaining they’ve only read 3 books this month. 3!! I aim for 1 a month to keep me reading, but for some people this isn’t even considered worthy enough to call myself a reader.

We forget that although the world is still out there shaming others on Instagram for their size, hair colour, followers, pose etc. We forget that although the book community that is considered safe and inclusive and for the most part it is! Ive found some great bookstagram accounts that give great content and respond to everyone and just enjoy reading in general.
But I think its important to remember that there is also those out there that, most likely unintentionally, making some of us feel like we are failing in the community by not reading enough, not reading long enough, not reading fast enough. Which takes the beauty out of why we pick up a book in the first place.

I might not read the most, and only aim for 12 books a year so that I don’t feel like reading is a chore, but ill still post my book reviews, still post my book photos on my Instagram. Tag the published, and hope that hey one day I may get sent a reading copy. And ill read it how I like and feel no pressure.

So if you want to see a normal gal, just trying to read books in life with no pressure other than reading is my happy place and keeps me sane. Follow me and we can do this little book community thing together, just me, you and our to be read list!

Last year I wrote a post on going to Uni at 25. 

Now I am officially 25 and I start university in July joining in second semester. Which sounds crazy to me! It still doesn’t feel real and I don’t think it will till I start my course.

At the start of January as the place I was working was pulling down the majority of the Back to school promo I started to have a mini panic attack that in less than 6months I was going to be starting school too and I didnt have any supplies or even know what supplies I need. So I panic bought some notebooks, highlighters and a pencil case, because why not?

But in reality supplies are the least of my worries.
For starters although I am enrolled into my course my current battle is payment. Studylink. Every kiwis worst nightmare. And I have never been taught how to use studylink.

My first issue is the fact that I can get my student loan payed for which is perfect but because I am in a relationship I am deemed unworthy, no matter what income I put into the box, for any student allowance. I am expected to live off my partner. Which I find absurd. The government should be making it easier for older people with lives apply for Uni without the financial burden. Not harder. For an 18 year old may use their student loan on accommodation and O week, I was looking for a little support for rent and food so not everything falls on my partner and so I can still work and study successfully. But that is not allowed.

Which is why I chose my university very carefully. I knew I couldn’t afford to study full time and I wanted online courses. When I found Massey university did distance learning I emailed querying if it would be suitable for someone working full time to take this course. I was told each course had 7years to complete it in and it was up to me how many courses/credits I wanted to enroll into each semester. They gave me advice on what people working full time and studying would usually do and it was completely in my control.
This filled me with confidence that I could successfully do this while still working and not be in financial shit. It gives me more control over my schedule and has meant I can ease myself in to studying again at my pace and not feel like im failing and made the worst mistake of my life.
Which is my biggest fear with going back into education.

-fingers crossed this doesn’t happen.- 

 Adopting a dog – Bringing Harmony home.

We visited the shelter on the Saturday, applied as we left and by Monday afternoon we had a call to say we had been successful and someone from the Waikato council would come round and check the place.
A note to remember when adopting a dog 99% of adoption centres will require you to to have a fenced in area.
By Thursday my fiancée was driving back up to Auckland to pick up our new dog. They de-sexed her that day so she was drugged and sleepy.

Within 4 days while working we had to run out the shops, 4 days before Christmas as well to add to it and get the basics for our new pup.
We knew we needed the essentials,

Leads
Collar
Crate

Food and water bowl
Toy.

We kept it simple for the start as it was hard to grab things in a rush and we didn’t know her personality yet.
We could not get dog food until we picked her up as we didn’t know what the shelter was feeding her. And a dog bed came the week after, but she was completely fine with her crate being from a shelter.
We didn’t splurge out on anything as we learnt that she drinks incredibly messily so we had to go and get her a new water bowl to cater that. We learnt that she didn’t fully know how to play with toys so we adapted what we bought her and taught her how to play slowly.

Her first couple of days she was unsure, sleepy, and cuddly as heck. Slowly we became a family as she learnt this was her new life. And for us being thrusted into this dog life meant there was no turning back. She was officially ours and I think the fact wed been talking about it for a while and thinking about it for years meant we didn’t second guess our option. There was no returning. She was ours to the end.

The end of last year I said yes to becoming Mrs Coop, and spending forever with my best friend. 

So as I navigate my way around wedding planning and engagement highs and lows I thought I would share on my journey to become a farmers wife.

The first thing that I learnt from becoming engaged is suddenly you are presented with the most annoying question. ‘So when’s the wedding?’  -insert eye roll -
I didn’t realise how much id hate this sentence till id heard it from the 6^th person wed told in a row. Along with the questions comes the comments, what to do, what not to do. I never knew that when you told someone about your wedding plans people think they have a right to comment on it as if its their wedding. And unless you are paying, you have no say.

But aside from the initial comments comes the wedding planning, which during a pandemic Is a little tricky when my family’s in the UK and despite everyone saying ‘youll have to have two weddings’ -double eye roll- you’re planning your wedding in NZ.
So first comes deciding on a date, to some say ‘Its too soon.’  And others say ‘That’s too far’ but for the two of us actually getting married, hoping on 2 years the world wont be as closed off as it has been the past year.
But before you have a concrete date you need a venue.

 

Do you know how hard it is to find a venue?! I did not think it would be this tricky. Especially when despite what you type into google, not everything pops up. I bought every wedding magazine I could find to help expose venues to us. However I noticed that they don’t love to share venues more than stores to buy your wedding dresses. Which was super frustrating when they are showcasing a real life wedding and no where on the page does it let you know the venue. Or the most common venue I see is ‘Their home.’ ‘Family batch.’ ‘Family farm.’
But recently after another late night scroll and search hoping to find a new venue to give us ideas, I learnt a trick to finding some venues that don’t pop up on searches. Wedding photographers.
While looking through some Waikato wedding photographers, a lot of them will showcase a couple weddings and the best part is, they show the venue! Which was how I found one that im fond of and cant wait to visit. But I checked and although its listed as a wedding venue, I cant find it on any other search!
So kill two birds with one stone, check wedding photographer sites as well! Not only do you get an idea on cost/what you like but also what suits you best along with hiding some hidden gem venues!

Let me know if you want me to share venues we’ve looked at/ visited as well.

 

I recently became a dog mom, it happened so much quicker than I thought it would and I was thrusted into an adoption worldwind. I thought I would share my process as I navigate mom life with you all in hopes to inspire yourself to look into adopting.

 

Before you start looking into adopting or even buying, make sure you are 100% sure you are ready for the commitment. With covid and lockdowns there has been a surge in people getting dogs to accompany them and fill in the extra time they had and now countries are returning back to normalish life they don’t have time for their furry friends anymore and more dogs are being returned or brought to shelters/kennels. So if you just want a cuddle buddy companion to fill your days at home before you return to work, I would think twice about getting a dog.
For me ive wanted a dog for 4+ years now and spent hours scrolling through adoption pages and doing my research.

When we moved accommodation, we asked if we could get a dog, in our contract we got it written in that we could get a small-medium dog. And thus the fence building starting and I started filling in forms with adoption agencies as I know how fast dogs can come and go.

A few weeks later we got an email with a new litter from Auckland puppy adoption but sadly the cute bundles of fur were due to be large dogs which we couldn’t take. There was a couple dogs we liked on Auckland council adoption page so we called to see if we could meet them. We were allowed to meet one and I wasn’t sold on her photo so I wasn’t expecting much other than visiting to see what kind of dog we wanted/would fit into our home.
We heading into the manaku shelter, filled in our form and waited to be taken to see a dog names Harmony. Walking through the shelter I was overcome with the cutness of all the dogs we walked by and I wanted to open each kennel and take them all home with me.

We were told while we waited for Harmony play mate for the day to be moved that she can take a minute to warm up to you. Me and Johnny had watched tv shows on adoption and knew what to do, so we got down on the floor and waited potentially, expecting her to pay no attention to us. What we didn’t expect was her to jump into my lap and start kissing my face. Neither did the trainer, and this was how she chose us. 1 week later, she was in our home.

Last year I wrote a post called ’24 and unemployed’ and a lot has changed in the year. 

At the time of turning 24, I was lost, scared and my confidence had dropped massively thanks to my work situation. So I wanted to reflect on all the things I achieved in my 24^th year around the sun.

1. I got my dream job at the time.
2. I was receiving positive and constructive feedback to learn new skills thus boosting my confidence in my profession.
3. I enrolled into university.
4. I moved to the countryside and started a new farm life.
5. Bought a new car.
6. I started driving again, thus building my confidence within driving again.
7. I got engaged to the love of my life.
8. I became a dog mom.
9. Made it through an ongoing pandemic.

 

The reason I wanted to reflect on these things and share them is because they’re not all big things. They’re not all massive achievements. They are not even CV worthy. But changing my job and changing my outlook on my future and goals changed my mental health for the better.
For my 24^th birthday my friend got me a gratitude journal to help me see the positive in the small things. It was a real wake up call for me that I wasn’t just affecting myself, I was bringing everyone around me down and just in general not being a good friend. Id lost focus on almost everything in my life and I felt like I couldn’t do anything but lie on my couch all day.

Now I read, lots. I drive places, I plan adventures I go for walks and pet goats. I laugh, I smile and I don’t worry about little things or disbelief in myself anymore. I turned 25 and I am so ready for the year ahead. I am ready to start back in education for the first time in 8 years! I am ready to plan my wedding and im ready to accomplish lots in my new job too.

Look for the rainbow in anything, its there. You just might have to tilt your head a little to change the view and youll start to see it brighter.

 

At the start of 2020 I knew one thing, and that was that I wanted to get back into reading again. My mental health was on a downward spiral so I reverted to old patterns that helped me in 2014, and that was reading.

Thanks to covid I got to read more than I would have but I thought out of the 22 books id read in the year I would share my top 5 favourites, in no particular order.

1.
The Flatshare – Beth O’leary

This was a book I kicked myself for not picking up earlier as I loved every chapter of it. The idea of two people living in the same space but only communicating by post it notes really showcased a true love story. I felt like Beth told two characters beautifully while never leaving a page feeling unnecessary.
It made me want to start leaving post it notes around the house even though I do see my partner everyday.

2.
Such a fun age – Kiley Reid.

When I was setting up my store(bookstore) I got drawn to this cover and I read the back intrigued but I didn’t pick it up till months later. Another great read I wish I would have got earlier, along with the BLM movement this book highlights the issues around people of colour vs white people, the issue when a babysitter is accused of stealing the child she is babysitting because of the colour of her skin and the clothes shes wearing. It such an enlightening read as its not uncommon for this to happen tomorrow.

3.
The hunting party- Lucy Foley

Id bought this book for my mother who loves a crime read, she really enjoyed it so I sold it to my friend who likes the same genre and finally I bought it for myself!
We don’t know who died and we don’t know who did it, but what we do know is this camping trip is going to change the friendship or really heighten what everyone knew about the friendship. This book keeps you turning pages right to the end as I was left guessing until the last minute. It really was one of the best crime books I had read this year. However choose one or the other of her books as they both share the same storyline.

 

4 & 5
The husbands secret & Nine perfect strangers – Liane Moriarty

I found a new author that I just want to buy all her books to! Both of these stories kept me on the edge of my seat turning the pages and getting little sleep because I wanted to keep reading. Her storylines are unique and the way she incorporates her characters keeps you gripped. I cant wait to pick up her other two but its no surprise once you read one why she had so many in the top 100.

What are your top 2020 reads? 

A couple weeks ago I got asked how I make decisions and can be sure of them. This struck me because I can never be sure of the decisions I make however in the past two months my life has completely changed. 

At the start of September, the first weekend Aucklanders were allowed out of lockdown and allowed to leave we drove down for our annual kidding season trip to play with all the baby goats(and see family, but mainly the goats)
While down there people were saying we should move down as a job had opened up on the farm. Suddenly Johnny was considering it, which shocked me a little. Hes not one to just jump into things like this. But after a week of talking it over, pros and cons, a day on the farm I was breaking the news to my manager that I was leaving.

And by the middle of October we were moving all our furniture down and saying goodbye to our lovely home in Auckland City ready for farm life. I feel like it happened so fast we didn’t really have time to think about, like properly think about it.
I feel like if wed of have time we may not have taken the plunge, as it was such a big one and one completely unlike us. However, I suppose that’s the risk you have to take with decisions sometimes. They’re not easy to make and the ones that you don’t fully think about can often be the best ones as you never get that little voice inside your head talking you out of everything.

Ive done a lot of big moves in my time but that doesn’t make it any harder or any scarier, especially when it wasn’t in the 5year plan unlike the others, and you also start reaching a point in your life when you question, when do I settle down? Or do we never settle down? My mother at my age would have had a house by now, be fully qualified in her job and ready to start a family. But it was easier back then so with house prices rising is it any wonder so many of us are making big moving decisions and hopping from place to place rather than doing what our parents did?

The one thing I did learn from this decision though is that it really didn’t matter where I was living or doing in the world as long as I was with my partner, Id be happy. And I suppose when you have that, the rest just comes easy. Don’t be afraid to fail, don’t be afraid to make mistakes. Itll all work out at the end of the day. And if it doesn’t, we can start arranging plan B tomorrow.

 

Post lockdown I managed to keep on top of my reading I really wanted to share some reviews on the books that im raving about!

First up;

The Flatshare.. I put off reading the Flatshare for so long because from the description’s id heard on it I thought it was a cheesy YA novel. But during lockdown I just purchased it on a whim and I’m so glad I did! This book was something else for me. We meet Tiffy who is loud, bright, bubbly and in a sticky housing situation with a creepy ex boyfriend. So seeks out Leon, who’s a quiet, reserved nurse who needs some extra cash so rents out his place while he does the night shift. How bizarre right? Could you share the same bed with someone you’ve never met? Share the same living space and only know someone through items and notes. I really fell for this book for a few reasons. 1) The way Beth O’Leary switches between Leon and Tiffy in this book is the best writing I’ve found so far of displaying two characters as they are. She completely changed her style of writing when writing from Leon’s view and I adored this, and it completely set the scene. 2) it felt a like a love story how they should be told, from friends first. So many times, you read about love stories and within the first two chapters their in love without actually getting to know each other. These two really found friendship through their unconventionally way of living and I adored that.

 

 

My second one that I couldn’t wait to read is, Kiely Reid’s Such a fun Age! This book has been nominated for a booker prize and has been blowing up around Instagram in light of the Black lives Matter movement. The book follows Emira, a 25year old woman who is accused by a supermarket security for kidnapping the child she is babysitting because of her race. A black woman out with a white baby. Could you imagine? Or do you not have to because no one would question yourself? We watch and read what it is like being judged for your race and how to handle the situation and how not to handle the situation in her boss Alix Chamberlains case. It really was an important and uplifting story that I think everyone should read and I cannot recommend enough! I finished this in 6days and a part of me wishing I didn’t finish it so fast so I could keep enjoying it!

Let me know your books your currently raving about!
Im currently reading: Girl, Woman, Other.

I didn’t realise that I fell into the ‘poor’ category until I was in my second year of college where not only did I get my bus pass paid for but I was also given a foodcard from college each week so I could afford to eat at college. This wasn’t something I asked for, they just looked at my family situation and deemed me eligible. Honestly this really shaped my future.

At the start of 2019 I had very little dollars to my name. infact I basically had no money. Wed just payed off all out debt and had set a saving plan in place to work on saving for our bond before our lease ran out. When suddenly we were hit with a curve ball and suddenly had no money and no home.

And now, amongst two people in a year and a half we’ve gone from 0dollars to seeing the commar behind numbers.
Now ive been a little bit obsessed with watching financial youtubers giving tips online and I thought I would share my favourites.

Ive talked before about opening a savings account with another bank and I strongly stand by this to the point where I have 2. A joint savings, and a single savings. I was finding having my saving linked to my current account it made it too easy to sneakily transfer back and forth and I just always had a rainy day fund and not a savings fund. Now I have both. Look around and choose a dedicated savings account with high interest if you put in a certain amount(that you can afford) and don’t withdraw anything each month.
This also links to my second favourite tip.

Pay yourself first. Although I would always transfer to savings I didn’t have the mentality of paying myself first. Changing the wording to this really changed my mindset and its helped me with budgeting. I now know which money is paying myself money and which money is available to spend. And paying it into my account I don’t check regularly helps it build up too.

My third tip would be living below your means. No matter what you’re earning, live below. That doesn’t mean you have to be cheap, but budget, budget below what you can afford. This is a great way to live for if anything does pop up. I often have car problems and its nice knowing its okay if I have to fix something. With Covid still dominating most of the world and job security still not 100% living below your means leaves you’re prepared for if there are any cut backs in your line of work. Just because your wage might increase doesn’t necessarily mean you have to increase your outgoings to match.

I do believe when you grow up in a financially poor family it really shapes your outlook on life. It has definitely made me want to be financially okay and focus on money a lot more. And I am thankful for that as I got life skills school never taught me all from watching my mother track her money each month. I am lucky I am starting off my savings young to prepare me for the future. But I also need to have emergency money because I am 12,000 miles away from all my family and if anything happens I need the funds to fly back.

Let me know if you have any good financially tips to share as you know I love reading about them!

Sometimes I write blogs that never actually make it to the internet, and in my last one I wrote about how I would have hated to work underneath this person who was making disgusting comments on a 19year old. And then I realised, I have worked under someone who has made me feel awkward by sexualising situations.

So this is my blog on why most people don’t speak up about sexual encounters in the work place.

A year ago I started working with a manager who slowly started having complaints made against them. It started as little comments he’d made to people about situations, nothing serious to begin with and I kept my opinion neutral. Then I started to hear that he’d made a male staff member feel super uncomfortable by sexual comments. He’d made a female staff feel uncomfortable about comments on her clothing. And he’d made another male staff member feel uncomfortable by asking them out for food. All three went to higher management. One staff member finally was moved from being under this persons management. But the others were disregarded.
So I tried to make it my job to protect these people from having to deal with any encounters like this again while I was around. They would not be left alone when im there with this person as I couldn’t bear the fact they felt uncomfortable in their workplace and wasn’t taken seriously.

While myself I started receiving, I guess, work place bullying from this person. I could tell they didn’t like being challenged by myself, maybe because im a woman, maybe because im younger than them, maybe because I did their job better than them. Maybe all three, who knows. But I had never felt so worthless and disliked by a manager before, publicly. To the point where I was pacing my house trying not to throw up before a shift with this person. This was not okay. So I eventually spoke out. I went to the top, I cried and read my notes id recorded on all the cases I had felt this way.

In return, I was told I needed to work with people who I didn’t like to grow and I needed to be nice towards this person. Please note this was the 4^th complaint towards said person. It was at this point I realised; higher ups will always protect each other no matter the case.  Reputation is bigger than the feelings of your staff.

Because my complaints first time weren’t taken seriously, I never complained when suddenly this person was sexualising simple conversations. I couldn’t talk to this person anymore and I couldn’t look them in the eyes because of how uncomfortable I felt and honestly I was scared for what was going to come out of said persons mouth.
I ended up resigning from the job and this was a strong part of why.

Most people don’t speak up in the work place because they are never taken seriously. Management protect their own sadly. And those that do speak up often aren’t taken seriously.
My jobs as a manager is to protect my staff, and I will always do that and from my own experience I will never disregard anyones concerns or feelings because I’ve been there.
Im not disregarding the whole innocent until proven guilty, but to not even investigate. To not take into concideration these people who have had the courage to complain and you keep them in the same situtation? We need to be doing better. It takes courage and strength to speak up as its rare that people believe you without hard evidence. We need to stop making it so hard. 
Even writing this blog is scary because people could easily come for me and tell me that its wrong to talk about my situation, but i was put in some awful circumstances and conversations by someone and my complaint went no where. Telling someone when they're telling you they would rather quit than be forced to feel that uncomfortable around someone that they need to learn to work with people they dont like is disgusting. This wasnt a case of not liking. This was a case of calling in sick because the thought of being put through bullying and sexualising comments all day made me physically sick. 

 

Now I know its scary, but please speak out if you are feeling uncomfortable in any regard, you might have that manager that takes actions. Or you will learn that nothing will change. But atleast you tried and found out what kind of place you’re working for.

Before lockdown was even a thing I was browsing the book stores for a new book. Id seen Normal People by Sally Rooney everywhere so naturally I picked it up as a contestant. But upon reading the first page I quickly closed the book and put it back on the shelf and kept walking. Mainly because I did not like the style of writing in the sense of the conversations are not outlined the way we are programmed to read/write them. In quotation marks.

Then during lockdown much like everyone else I binged the TV show and fell in love and started kicking myself for not picking it up before. So I immediately ordered it online and after a long month of waiting for it to arrive it finally did. 2 weeks later I was finished.

I must say I was a bit underwhelmed. Not saying I didn’t enjoy the book, I just felt like it was majorly hyped up being highly voted and talked about.

Now if you’re unaware of Normal People it follows the story of Marianne and Connell, two Irish teens and how they’re lives keep pulling them back together. Its more of a being young and finding yourself story rather than a love story but there’s no denying that Connell and Marianne have something special.
It’s a very raw and real story and one that isn’t often told, we see how easy it is to misunderstand one another when we’re still trying to find our place in the world. We see that although we might be alone in the world there is people feeling the same as us.
And although we would like to believe is there anyone actually classed as a ‘normal person’

It’s the perfect book to pick up if you’re looking to transition into Fiction from Young Adult as you will be able to relate to times in their lives making it an easier read.

When comparing the book to the TV show the one thing I really enjoyed about reading the book is Connell, I feel like in the TV show he seems more closed off and quiet and we don’t really get to understand what’s going on inside his head like we do in the book. He is vulnerable, self-conscious, and an anxious teen. This itself is an important story following a young male dealing with his mental health struggle. Its important to highlight that men go through it too and I really enjoyed this aspect of the book.

I was a little disappointed I hadn’t read it before the show as I obviously knew how things were going to end or where a storyline was going which could have taken the anticipation away from me but although it was an enjoyable easy read and very real and raw. I will still recommend but it only gets 3 stars from me.

When I was a teenager, I always said I would never go to uni. I don’t know how I knew I wasn’t going to follow the traditional path but it just never felt set in my cards that after college I was going to go to university. But that’s not to say I didn’t apply. I went to countless open days and even attended an interview to the university that I accepted a place in, it was just deferred a year for after my year out in New Zealand.
However I never made it to that university and a part of me is glad. Although I know I would of loved it and the subject I was going to study at the time, I just wasn’t ready to commit to my future so soon.

Now that I’m older and I’ve climbed the retail ladder to where I wanted to be currently, I’m now looking at university. But university at 25 is a lot scarier than university at 18.
For starters, I have rent and bills and savings and life plans that I need to finance and cant live off student allowance so I need to look futher into my options, can I survive on a part time job or do I do online university or part time university alongside a full time job?
Second, I haven’t been in education for 7 years, and it’s a long time to be out of a class room to step back in, but I know people 10years older than me that have taken the plunge back into education and honestly they have inspired me that I can do it too.
Thirdly, will I pick the right course? What I studied at college isn’t what I want to study now, although some aspects are similar and have helped me in life and will help me through my new studies it’s a different field. So whats to say I will make the right choice in my studies now?
Nothing will. Although I applied to university last year for a course and found out that residents cant attend university under resident status till 3 years in the country so If I wanted to go I would have to fork out the money myself or go under international student which would double the cost. Although this information sucked it made me really research more courses and what I wanted to study and in actual fact the course I applied for last year isn’t what im going to apply for next year.

Ive wrote countless posts about being a teenager forced into the system that is carved out for us, high school, college, university, job. And about how it didn’t fit to me, I don’t know if that’s because non of the family I grew up with went to university, neither did my parents and it was just embedded in me that I didn’t follow that style and there was no pressure to follow that style. Or if it just was not meant to be. The experience ive gained from the real world over the past 7years is more valuable to me now and it’s the reason I am now looking at university with no pressure. Its making it more enjoyable and excitable to apply and attend than I would have been at 18/19.

Now im not bashing those who followed the path layed out for us by society as I know many have loved their university experience and have gone on to be successful now. My point is to not feel guilty if that path is not for you and youd rather wait until you’re ready to go back into education, which you may never do. Its fine. There is no right and wrong despite what society may tell us sometimes.

Ill update you guys on my uni at 25 journey next year when I can officially start applying.

When New Zealand went into lockdown, just like everyone else I had big plans. Learn French. Read books all day. Exercise. Write my book. Write epic blogs.
And well.

I achieved non of this.
I mean I did really enjoy my 5 isolation dates. So that’s a win.
And I did start Yoga. But then I strained my knee 2 weeks ago and its been swollen since so we don’t talk about that.

But the one thing that I did achieve this lockdown period is cutting down/out on caffeine.

Now I’m not a coffee or tea drinker, but I am an energy drink drinker. I would need one to survive most days and other days id just drink it for the taste. It got to the point where if I didn’t have one id get the worst headache that id rather have one than go through it.
But I thought since I wasn’t going anywhere there wasn’t a need for me to have one. At first I thought id become immune to the caffeine and was just drinking it for the taste. But quickly into the lockdown I realised this wasn’t the case for when id had a drink and not burnt enough calories that day. I would be awake till all hours in the night.

When you’re cutting something out of your life its best not just to go cold turkey if you have side effects like myself with the headaches. So I cut it down, first to every other day. Then every 2 days, before I went two whole weeks without one.
This seems silly, doesn’t it? Its just a drink.
But caffeine is addictive. No matter the form that it is in, whether its your tea, coffee, or energy drink. You pick your poison, and it grips you.

Now im not going to lie, there’s been no change in my life when I cut caffeine out. Yes I was more tired. Took more naps. And the reality is I cant just nap during a work day. But the difference is now I can control when my body actually needs one and when I’m having one out of habit.

I am hoping that I can follow this through but that’s the difference from life and lockdown isn’t it. Life isn’t easy, you cant just take a nap because you’d rather nap than have an energy drink. So it will take a lot of willpower. But im happy that I did it during this period. To prove to myself that I could.

 

Whats one small victory you achieved during your lockdown period? 

I thought id save money during lockdown, with you know. Everything being closed. But somehow, I ended up spending waay to much money.
I think I justified it with the fact I got my pay-out and never treated myself and the fact I wasn’t buying food or random little things all the time I treated myself on other things.

My first treat to myself was my first film camera. Id been searching for one for over a year now but just couldn’t commit. Ive searched Junktion’s website weekly and I finally caved and bought this beauty.

Its not a straight point and shoot but the description said it was good for beginners. I’m excited taking photos and hoping they’ll turn out okay. Im excited about learning something new. I wanted one for a long time as im not a massive fan of technology and I didn’t want my kids seeing all the photos through a phone. Its one of my favourite past times going through all our old family photos. I want my kids to be able to do the same. If you live in Auckland I would recommend taking a trip into Junktion on Krd or at Takapunas Farmers markets, otherwise they do ship.

 

My second purchase was a cheeky one. I was buying yoga mats on warehouse and I saw Easter chocolate was all under 5dollars due to the fact we were all on strict lockdown over Easter. I took a gander and saw an egg that id always wanted to buy. A 1kg chocolate egg. And you bet for 5dollars I bought it! My inner child came out. I knew id never buy it at full price and its not often these are on sale. So I couldn’t resist. But damn when you’re alone and you have a 1kg chocolate egg and no one to share it with! I have lots left and I’m kind of regretting my choice! 

Now I thought I was done buying after my chocolate egg and yoga matt purchase but then it was my partners birthday so while I bought him a few bits I treated myself to a new cardigan. My last one was bought 5 years ago so I felt like it was time for a upgrade and this one seems perfect for the winter chill that keeps coming. 

At the start of lockdown I also caved and bought Revitalash serum. Before lockdown I went and got a Yumi Lash lift and the lash lady kept telling me that I should invest in some as I had a few broken lashes. I knew this as I’m an eye rubber. But I caved and bought some. I bought a small one which says it will last for 6weeks when used everyday. Now although I bought it to strengthen my lashes it honestly has worked. My eyes don’t feel as dry anymore, I rub them way less. And when I put mascara on it looks like I had my lash lift done yesterday. I would highly recommend to anyone. Even if you’re just wanting stronger lashes.

 

I’m hoping now we’re almost in the new normal and back out in the world I will actually save money now since I’ve got my spending itch out of the way. Plus I’m now wearing a uniform so I don’t need new clothes to wear everyday. I’m excited to see my bank account go up. She says.