Sometimes I write blogs that never actually make it to the internet, and in my last one I wrote about how I would have hated to work underneath this person who was making disgusting comments on a 19year old. And then I realised, I have worked under someone who has made me feel awkward by sexualising situations.

So this is my blog on why most people don’t speak up about sexual encounters in the work place.

A year ago I started working with a manager who slowly started having complaints made against them. It started as little comments he’d made to people about situations, nothing serious to begin with and I kept my opinion neutral. Then I started to hear that he’d made a male staff member feel super uncomfortable by sexual comments. He’d made a female staff feel uncomfortable about comments on her clothing. And he’d made another male staff member feel uncomfortable by asking them out for food. All three went to higher management. One staff member finally was moved from being under this persons management. But the others were disregarded.
So I tried to make it my job to protect these people from having to deal with any encounters like this again while I was around. They would not be left alone when im there with this person as I couldn’t bear the fact they felt uncomfortable in their workplace and wasn’t taken seriously.

While myself I started receiving, I guess, work place bullying from this person. I could tell they didn’t like being challenged by myself, maybe because im a woman, maybe because im younger than them, maybe because I did their job better than them. Maybe all three, who knows. But I had never felt so worthless and disliked by a manager before, publicly. To the point where I was pacing my house trying not to throw up before a shift with this person. This was not okay. So I eventually spoke out. I went to the top, I cried and read my notes id recorded on all the cases I had felt this way.

In return, I was told I needed to work with people who I didn’t like to grow and I needed to be nice towards this person. Please note this was the 4^th complaint towards said person. It was at this point I realised; higher ups will always protect each other no matter the case.  Reputation is bigger than the feelings of your staff.

Because my complaints first time weren’t taken seriously, I never complained when suddenly this person was sexualising simple conversations. I couldn’t talk to this person anymore and I couldn’t look them in the eyes because of how uncomfortable I felt and honestly I was scared for what was going to come out of said persons mouth.
I ended up resigning from the job and this was a strong part of why.

Most people don’t speak up in the work place because they are never taken seriously. Management protect their own sadly. And those that do speak up often aren’t taken seriously.
My jobs as a manager is to protect my staff, and I will always do that and from my own experience I will never disregard anyones concerns or feelings because I’ve been there.
Im not disregarding the whole innocent until proven guilty, but to not even investigate. To not take into concideration these people who have had the courage to complain and you keep them in the same situtation? We need to be doing better. It takes courage and strength to speak up as its rare that people believe you without hard evidence. We need to stop making it so hard. 
Even writing this blog is scary because people could easily come for me and tell me that its wrong to talk about my situation, but i was put in some awful circumstances and conversations by someone and my complaint went no where. Telling someone when they're telling you they would rather quit than be forced to feel that uncomfortable around someone that they need to learn to work with people they dont like is disgusting. This wasnt a case of not liking. This was a case of calling in sick because the thought of being put through bullying and sexualising comments all day made me physically sick. 

Now I know its scary, but please speak out if you are feeling uncomfortable in any regard, you might have that manager that takes actions. Or you will learn that nothing will change. But atleast you tried and found out what kind of place you’re working for.