When I was little I used to love moving, my room used to end up being a mattress on the floor and boxes surrounding me so I’d pick them all up and build a fort around my mattress bed. Then It became fitting my life into a 30kg weight limit. I failed every time and there are still things sitting in England that will one day make their way to my side of the world. But today is not that day. I’m now moving into our own place, I signed my first lease!! Me, my partner and his cousin. We get to organise bills, make sure our apartment is suitable for inspections and live right in the city of my new found home. It’s exciting as it’s been 2 years since me and my partner have lived without adult supervision. Although we had plenty of freedom in England, its just never the same as having your own place.
However when I signed the lease I had employment and knew my paydays, knew my money situation and felt okay.
Currently I move in 4days, I don’t have employment anymore (see last blog) and im a little bit freaking out with how quickly money can disappear. It makes me wish I could go back to being 6 and building a box fort filled with teddies around my mattress and toy story duvet on my bedroom floor.
With the stress of moving becomes the stress of finding a new job.

As mentioned before I did have employment, I thought it was all going okay, and then suddenly a turn in my life and boom im back to unemployed Lucie. And in all honesty, its exhausting.
Its draining being unemployed, you have everyone around you, people you don’t even know asking how your new job is, to then have to tell them you quit, for there new question to be, so how’s the job hunt going?
Shit.
shit is the only thing I want to answer.
But you grit your teeth, place a fake smile and answer politely as your mother taught you.
Im currently in a situation where I get asked nightly, ‘any interviews tomorrow?’ ‘Any plans tomorrow?’ and I get to be reminded that no, no I don’t. For it is not as easy as everyone things to get a job. I cant just walk in somewhere and put on a uniform and your hired. Its hard, its stressful you start doubting your worth. Should I have gone to uni? Should I go to uni? Maybe my experience just isn’t good enough for anywhere.
But as I sit there, refreshing my emails every 10minutes and the job sites/apps on my phone every 20, with intervals of searching on specific company’s sites in the hopes a new job in my location will have popped up today. You end up being defeated.
And to people around you, it looks like you just wasted a day on your phone.

So it leads me to, staying positive. How?
I struggle with this a lot, I’m lucky that I have a support system that is amazing.
And id say that’s clue one, find even just one person (mines just one person) that no matter how hard things are they will make you chant ‘everything’s going to be okay’ because as much as you don’t believe it at the time. When you’ve moved, become hired, you’ll be looking back and laughing that you didn’t believe it would all work out.
One technique I adopted when I was 15 in regards to staying positive is find something to look forward to. It can be as small as going out for pancakes, to moving places.
I have my countdown in my head till I move, and then when I move it’ll be when we have internet and then when we have internet it’ll be doing all the things I used to be able to do. And I’m praying that by that point employment will be heading my way –fingers crossed.
There is always something, if you look hard enough, to look forward to.
It’ll help shift all the stress and bad thoughts in regards to any other issues you have going on to the back of your mind.