Lost.
I only managed to post one blog post in August, and I cut it pretty close to the end of august even with that one. The reason was I felt very lost, in life, in writing, in myself, in this blog, in the world.
I didn’t know where my place was as id been working towards a goal so hard to then find out no one else believed I could reach that goal but didn’t want to help me either was heart-breaking.
I cried a lot in august and stopped wearing makeup due to my automatic eye leaks. I lost all belief in myself and I searched for answers that only myself could find over time. I started to question this blog too, is it worth it? Am I enjoying it? What’s the purpose of it? I haven’t fully enjoyed writing until today. Today I have ideas, I have words, and my fingers are tapping away at my keyboard with hope.
In the mist of all my lost thoughts I wanted something comforting in my life. So ive been re-reading my favourite book, The Shock of the Fall. Which coincidently is a book I based my second or third blog post on. It kinda felt like I was coming full circle with it all. Reading something I already knew meant I could just submerge myself into it and not have to worry about reading. Reading is something I know ive failed with this year and im trying, so learning to make time for reading with a book ive already read didn’t feel like a chore and in return will have hopefully shifted my mindset when I start a new book.
The fact that It was one of my first blog posts too make me remember why I enjoy doing this blog. I do it because I love writing, and I love learning how to write different styles and about different topics. Its challenging myself to do something that I don’t essentially have to do. Ive re-read some of my old posts recently as I’ve been trying to get back into this whole thing and I surprise myself with some of the sentences I concoct. Its driven me to try and be better, to get to those standards again.
My main goal for this blog though Is to connect and inspire. I want to hopefully inspire whoever is reading this through whatever ive been through. I want to share my experiences and my feeling to keep conversations alive, I want to review books so you know whats good. I want to talk about music because its such a diverse world. And I want to share my travel places because I want you guys to hopefully go there too one day. This is all about us. Me and you reading it. Im doing it for us.
I didn’t know where my place was as id been working towards a goal so hard to then find out no one else believed I could reach that goal but didn’t want to help me either was heart-breaking.
I cried a lot in august and stopped wearing makeup due to my automatic eye leaks. I lost all belief in myself and I searched for answers that only myself could find over time. I started to question this blog too, is it worth it? Am I enjoying it? What’s the purpose of it? I haven’t fully enjoyed writing until today. Today I have ideas, I have words, and my fingers are tapping away at my keyboard with hope.
In the mist of all my lost thoughts I wanted something comforting in my life. So ive been re-reading my favourite book, The Shock of the Fall. Which coincidently is a book I based my second or third blog post on. It kinda felt like I was coming full circle with it all. Reading something I already knew meant I could just submerge myself into it and not have to worry about reading. Reading is something I know ive failed with this year and im trying, so learning to make time for reading with a book ive already read didn’t feel like a chore and in return will have hopefully shifted my mindset when I start a new book.
The fact that It was one of my first blog posts too make me remember why I enjoy doing this blog. I do it because I love writing, and I love learning how to write different styles and about different topics. Its challenging myself to do something that I don’t essentially have to do. Ive re-read some of my old posts recently as I’ve been trying to get back into this whole thing and I surprise myself with some of the sentences I concoct. Its driven me to try and be better, to get to those standards again.
My main goal for this blog though Is to connect and inspire. I want to hopefully inspire whoever is reading this through whatever ive been through. I want to share my experiences and my feeling to keep conversations alive, I want to review books so you know whats good. I want to talk about music because its such a diverse world. And I want to share my travel places because I want you guys to hopefully go there too one day. This is all about us. Me and you reading it. Im doing it for us.
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