I keep looking at where you took your last
Breath
Your last
Step

I keep wondering what you thought as you took
Your last
Look
At this world you'd become to
Hate

I keep wondering
How it felt
As you hit the stone

Were you happy
As you fell from the ledge
Knowing
All your pain
Would soon be gone?

Or did you feel a sudden regret
For your family
And friends
Even if you had little

Did they cross your mind
As you took that step
Off that ledge
And fell
To your death
For all to see
And be found so suddenly

Are you happier now?
I wonder
For you've made a girl
Who doesn't even know your name
Look at where you took your last breath
And wonder if we've ever thought the same
Wonder how it felt as you ended your pain

And wonder if it was everything you ever wanted

From a summer fling
To two years in

I never thought
Love existed

Till I saw you smile
That one summer night

As I took your hand
And dragged you to the sea

I didn't really know
If you liked me

But I took a chance
For the first time
On a boy who wasn't like the rest


With your pink bobbles in your hair
And your ability to be so damn cute

I couldn't have imagined my life
With you in
But after a while
A life without you
Just seems so grim

You light up a room
Not just for me
But for all those
Who have the pleasure of being in your life
With your silly little accent
And your quirky ways

You are truly one of a kind
In the best possible way

They say writing what you know is easy
But why am I struggling when It comes to you.


Maybe because words can't describe
Truly what you mean
To a silly writer like me

You'd easily draw your emotions
Into a wonderful piece of art
And I'd sit there in awe
At your talent

But I'm struggling to find the words
With this talent you say I have.
For my love for you
And these words in my brain
Seems to end up
In two different places

For death and mental health
Comes so easy to a
Mess head like me

But telling the world your wonders and kindness
And establishing the best sentence
That fills my heart like you do

Is escaping me.

I have four words
That speak more truth
Than any silly thing I write
I hope that's enough.


I love you more.

‘You don't know anything’
She got told her whole life.
‘You don't understand’
She hears through the night

She grew up maturing but being
Put down.
For she will never know anything
Of what went down.
Forming your own opinion is not allowed.

For she doesn't understand.
All these lies.

It's only one side your hearing he says.
It's only my side she thinks in her head.

For all her life she has been picked when suited.
Saying no
Was never an option
Letting go
Was never a thought.

They used her when wished and tore her life down.
 she doesn't understand afterall.
She knows nothing.

Now years later the attacks have faded
They chose a different target
To remind them
She knows nothing
She doesn't understand
You need to tell her
It's now in your hands

For what she's said you must know
She never knew anything
She never understood

How many times
Can these words get used.

Till she feels useless and gives in
To the people crowding over her
That she claims she'll never let in.

For she knows how she feels
And she understands her thoughts
Isn't that enough
To get this man to stop?

Grief
They never teach you in school
How to accept your feelings
 No matter how cruel.

For crawling in a ball and refusing to the face the world is one way
Or accepting your fate and getting on with your day.
Sometimes you get little waves of grief
And you find yourself sniffling
In your bus seat.

No one teaches you how to deal
With a death of your favourite
Person in the world
Maybe it's our fault for getting too attached
For we all know they're never coming back.

Maybe you'll meet again in another time
For now
I need to heal
And it's taking a long time

Im digging my hole and not wanting to come out
For in-denial was so much better
Than facing the heartache  that came after
Maybe one day I'll look at your face
A tear won't be shed
And I'll be okay.

Or maybe this grief will follow me for the rest of my life
As I question why I couldn't
Have had more time