2014-Now
I keep seeing over social media people doing the 2012-now flashbacks, so I thought I to would reflect on the past, but the era of 2014-now. Due to trying to find a gif I knew id made on tumblr when I was 18, and suddenly I was falling down a rabbit hole that is my tumblr archive.
‘Depression grabbed his throat and choked the life out of him slowly.’
The feels hit me hard.
Suddenly I was reading my words, thinking that can’t have been me? But it was.
I found things like this –
It felt surreal to look back and see such a broken shell of a human, and then look in the mirror and see a whole shell with bits chipped. I kind of feel like one of those breakable piggy banks, back In 2014 I smashed it and I’ve spent the past few years trying to glue the pieces back together and it took till today looking back to realise I did it.
My brain isn’t fully okay, and I don’t think it ever will be, but I do have the worry that it will get worse again. I never fully remembered what my bad days were till I started reading about them again. I guess it’s a bit like mind blocking, you don’t want to remember what once scared you.
But the important thing I noticed from this is how far ive come, how proud you have to be when you look back on your past. Sure maybe you don’t have a bad past, life’s been peaches and im glad. But one day the rollercoaster might dip, but its important to remember hold on for the ride because soon you’ll be looking back at the drop and smile, because you’re not there anymore.
At the same time I believe its important to remember to be a kind soul, if your kind to others, others will be kind to you. I am constantly complementing people when out rather than having the mind-set of oh my god what is she wearing, I have the mind-set of man her hairs nice. Damn she was pretty. Ooo look at her butt, I bet she squats. Its something ive developed over the years of removing toxic people, but once you start being in a positive kind frame of mind, its easy.
Push others, and push yourself. Look back on the past with pride not anger or defeat. Im still a long way to go, but im working on myself more than I was before.
I would highly recommend if you’re struggling, the book – depression and other magic tricks by Sabrina Benaim. I have linked it so check it out. I got gifted it by the wonderful @betty.blushes and it has honestly been like reading a glimmer of hope.
‘Depression grabbed his throat and choked the life out of him slowly.’
The feels hit me hard.
Suddenly I was reading my words, thinking that can’t have been me? But it was.
I found things like this –
It felt surreal to look back and see such a broken shell of a human, and then look in the mirror and see a whole shell with bits chipped. I kind of feel like one of those breakable piggy banks, back In 2014 I smashed it and I’ve spent the past few years trying to glue the pieces back together and it took till today looking back to realise I did it.
My brain isn’t fully okay, and I don’t think it ever will be, but I do have the worry that it will get worse again. I never fully remembered what my bad days were till I started reading about them again. I guess it’s a bit like mind blocking, you don’t want to remember what once scared you.
But the important thing I noticed from this is how far ive come, how proud you have to be when you look back on your past. Sure maybe you don’t have a bad past, life’s been peaches and im glad. But one day the rollercoaster might dip, but its important to remember hold on for the ride because soon you’ll be looking back at the drop and smile, because you’re not there anymore.
At the same time I believe its important to remember to be a kind soul, if your kind to others, others will be kind to you. I am constantly complementing people when out rather than having the mind-set of oh my god what is she wearing, I have the mind-set of man her hairs nice. Damn she was pretty. Ooo look at her butt, I bet she squats. Its something ive developed over the years of removing toxic people, but once you start being in a positive kind frame of mind, its easy.
Push others, and push yourself. Look back on the past with pride not anger or defeat. Im still a long way to go, but im working on myself more than I was before.
I would highly recommend if you’re struggling, the book – depression and other magic tricks by Sabrina Benaim. I have linked it so check it out. I got gifted it by the wonderful @betty.blushes and it has honestly been like reading a glimmer of hope.
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