Do I have a sleeping problem?
‘Why are you always tired?’
‘All you do is sleep!’
‘You’re Young you should be full of energy!’
What they don’t realise is at the tender age of 22. I have trouble sleeping.
When I was in the height of my depression at the fresh age of 18 I used to be so smug of my sleeping ability. Every self help quiz/site I would go to it would self diagnose your depression with the question ‘do you have trouble sleeping?’ I would smugly tick no. For I didn’t, I had trouble getting up, but never going to sleep.
Little did I realise it would bite me later in life.
I only really started having trouble around a year and a half ago when I struggled with a thing called nightmare disorder where every night I would wake in the middle of the night to a nightmare, different each night but it made me terrified to sleep. So I would put off sleeping and when I would sleep I would awake in the middle of the night terrified. It was a rough time and I’m not sure what caused it or how it stopped. It went away and I was okay. I suddenly realised that I wasn’t sleeping as easily as I was before though but it was okay. At least I was sleeping.
About a year later I suddenly started waking up drenched in sweat but freezing. Now as a child I was a bed wetter so waking up drenched gave me terrible flashbacks to being child and waking up in a similar situation.
Luckily this time it was just sweat but still as horrible. I googled and it links to a few things but I’m hoping it is just night sweats caused by anxiety and nothing else.
Some nights I would be waking 2/3 times drenched struggling to sleep again and suddenly back into the habit of not going to sleep.
Both these sleeping disorders, if I can call them that, link to my mental health. I think it’s so important to raise awareness around mental health and the hidden side effects we have to deal with daily.
Daily I struggle.
Daily I am tired.
I know I feel tired now and when I have a child I’ll look back and laugh but when I get told I shouldn’t be tired because of my age it aches my heart that no one will fully understand and it’s not something you blurt out as a response.
To my brothers and sisters struggling too; you are not alone.
‘All you do is sleep!’
‘You’re Young you should be full of energy!’
What they don’t realise is at the tender age of 22. I have trouble sleeping.
When I was in the height of my depression at the fresh age of 18 I used to be so smug of my sleeping ability. Every self help quiz/site I would go to it would self diagnose your depression with the question ‘do you have trouble sleeping?’ I would smugly tick no. For I didn’t, I had trouble getting up, but never going to sleep.
Little did I realise it would bite me later in life.
I only really started having trouble around a year and a half ago when I struggled with a thing called nightmare disorder where every night I would wake in the middle of the night to a nightmare, different each night but it made me terrified to sleep. So I would put off sleeping and when I would sleep I would awake in the middle of the night terrified. It was a rough time and I’m not sure what caused it or how it stopped. It went away and I was okay. I suddenly realised that I wasn’t sleeping as easily as I was before though but it was okay. At least I was sleeping.
About a year later I suddenly started waking up drenched in sweat but freezing. Now as a child I was a bed wetter so waking up drenched gave me terrible flashbacks to being child and waking up in a similar situation.
Luckily this time it was just sweat but still as horrible. I googled and it links to a few things but I’m hoping it is just night sweats caused by anxiety and nothing else.
Some nights I would be waking 2/3 times drenched struggling to sleep again and suddenly back into the habit of not going to sleep.
Both these sleeping disorders, if I can call them that, link to my mental health. I think it’s so important to raise awareness around mental health and the hidden side effects we have to deal with daily.
Daily I struggle.
Daily I am tired.
I know I feel tired now and when I have a child I’ll look back and laugh but when I get told I shouldn’t be tired because of my age it aches my heart that no one will fully understand and it’s not something you blurt out as a response.
To my brothers and sisters struggling too; you are not alone.
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